Sphere of Love

"Selfishness" is a beautiful and compassionate decision.

Unlock the key to loving yourself;

When you love yourself so much; completely, the gift you've really finally allowed yourself is perfect freedom.  You've told yourself it's OK to be exactly as you are.  You've stopped judging your process or where you are in it.  You've allowed yourself to be vulnerable.  You've allowed yourself to see you as beautiful and deserving.  You've opened yourself up like a child, and have begun to trust yourself.  You begin to feel that you can and will allow all good things come to you.  All experiences of disappointment or neediness dissipate.  Now that you are this complete sphere of yourself, so full of perfect love, you are so free.

You are free to love others.  And not just certain ones, but all ones.  You free yourself to love every being, every reflection of yourself, you no longer need another to be or do anything.  You now no longer need any other being to be anything other than everything and just exactly what they are;  because you are allowing this freedom for yourself and now it is your joy to allow it in others.  And as this sphere of love, you experience the ongoing moment of constantly unfolding into your own love and all of love.  And as you emanate the unavoidable runoff of this supreme and colossal love, those beings in your presence, and across all reaches of the universe, have no choice but to feel free to love themselves more perfectly and to expand into even more love within themselves.

You see, selfishness- the negative connotation we've placed on the word-has been such a misonstruance.  To be selfish is to be compassionate.  To finally begin fulfilling and listening to oneself, to give into the compelling desire to embody oneself, to embody love, is to finally allow oneself to be complete and without need. Only once we are without need can our light and beauty propel the healing, joy, expansion, and love in others.

Only once we have allowed ourselves to be love, can we share it.  Only then can we allow it to permeate all consciousness indefinitely, infinitely in every direction and through all dimensions of space-time and beyond.  In this supreme unfolding, we feel the momentous pleasure of creation expressing itself as a 

profoundly perfect love story, 

from self to self

from self to other

other to other

from every other to all 

all in creation

in every state of beingness

exultant in gorgeous love.

So, be selfish.

Love yourself so selfishly, so lavishly.  And then all there is left

is to marvel in awe at it's infinite non-subtractable wholeness,

and to then set it free,

give it away, as a bird

gives itself to the unimaginable expanse

of the sky

the Dope-ness of the Universe

Never once have I directly asked the universe for anything that it/i/god didn't fully deliver and at precisely the right moment. The perfect moment. The most creative, synchronistic, un-arbitrary moment.

The WAY the universe delivers that which I have requested is every bit as beautiful a work of art as the THING ITSELF being delivered.

Imagine how dope the universe must be that the actual method of delivery itself is a medium through which the beauty and rhythm of creation is being expressed.

The One spares no expense contacting you. Ignores no method, excludes not a single medium through which it can and is permeating your consciousness.

Tune in. It's not a matter of whether or not the communication is happening, only whether you are defining these impressions, excitements, and synchronicities as communications or not. They are. All of them. Throw out your previously held paradigms of the restrictive ways things must happen.

Love is inclusive.

Ask for it and relax and watch what the universe does. Still stuns me every time.

Girl God

The Story of the Girl God

And How All Religions Come to Be

In the year 2012 there was a girl who had an old soul, liked astrology and was in the new Age movement.  Many people were.  As much as this girl respected and valued her guardian angels, past life identities, spirit guides, animal spirit guides and the like, she still never quite took any of their word for it.  Whatever they told her about creation, beingness, duality, paradox, space-time, oneness, etc., she still always paid mind to her strongest instinct and resonated most with those guides or forms of guidance which resonated with her instincts most strongly.  Those guides which resonated most strongly were always the ones telling her never to trust them, but always to trust her own experience.

As she trusted her own experiences more and more and more, she found that her guides were beginning to appear very quietly when telling her to trust herself.  More and more frequently this happened.  More and more quiet did they become until most of them merged and couldn't be deciphered separately, and one of them was finally called, "my self", by her.  "Myself!"  the voice announced itself, "both by name and by function," it said.  And so slowly and by the gradual leading of her own inner-self voice she realized that all she needed, wanted, had been, and would become, was very much contained within the walls of her own self and thus began to realize everything was herself.  She thus did something more accurately described than by saying she BECAME God but more so by saying that she understood and remembered that she WAS God.

Now you know the rest of the story.  What do people do when they are around a person who believes themself to be God, behaves and creates like God, and lives comfortably and without anxiety within creation...like God?  What do People do? They call this person "God".  And they worship this person, and they follow this person.

Well, this is very much so what happened with this girl.  As soon as she realized that every layer of guides through her life, from religious symbols and systems, to "spiritual" guides and concepts, to emotional and intuitive understandings, then finally down to her very "self", was simply a channel through which she awoke into the next most expansive layer of herself, she had no further choice but to realize she, actually, was God herself.  Himself...itself.

And shortly thereafter, she was discovered, and thus became God.

She was OK with it at first because she knew of course, from her experiences, that she was God, and in that knowingness, she also understood that all beings were equally God, only in different stages of remembering it and different expressions of it.  So this is how it happened that, at first, she was innocently excited about being called God.  She went to work right away showing and telling everyone around her that they were God too.   "Uh-huh, uh-huh."  They nodded in agreement when she told them the good news.  But still they followed her.  She showed them so many things.  She showed them how to use pendulums, she showed them how to use meditation, she showed them about sacred art, math, and technology, she showed them about chanting and energy healing, because these were the permission slips which had helped her allow her self to remember who she was, and they said  "uh-huh, uh-huh" and followed her.

Now, a very important distinction is that this was only a small segment of society following this random God girl.  Plenty of other people had or were God already and laughed in amusement, some scorned or judged, and some ignored.  Some even called her evil.  Many did.  Still the followers followed on.  She tried and tried telling them that they were God too, that if only they would ask, they would receive, that all of them had been made out of the same formula of pure consciousness as she, that none of them could even see God in her, had they not first known it in themselves.  "Uh-huh, uh-huh" they nodded, and wrote down in their notes that these were metaphors.

On and on they followed until one day she fell ill from all the pressure and died.  So many questions, so many feelings surrounded her death.  Some were devastated, some mocked, those who had believed her to be evil were relieved.  After the initial shock began wearing off, things started falling into routine.  But now the followers began asking, "what routine?"  They had no independent routines because they had insisted on following her, which she never intended or encouraged.  So now the followers had only one option, to continue following of course!

So, Instead of doing what they did for one another when one of them died and saying, "oh go on!  Let yourself be happy, she loved you, she would've wanted it that way.  Let yourself be free," the followers instead said, "we must do exactly as she did.  She was beautiful, she was amazing, she was God.  This is the perfect way.  This is the only way.  No matter that she called us God and told us to find our own path.  She probably didn't mean it, don't even write that down.  But write the rest down."  They created a book and a mandatory system of obligations.  And so they carried on this New Age religion with the random girl-God as their avatar.  And as she had done, so they did.  They used pendulums, they used meditation, they chanted and practiced energy healing, they studied and memorized sacred art, math, and technology.

At times one follower or another would become curious about outside methods, other versions of God, or other formulas, but this person was always punished and was considered quite bad by the other followers.  All in her name.  And of course, as they would be expected to do, they defended their name.  Her name, that is.  Sometimes to the death.

This is how the random girl God religion was founded.  And how all religions are founded.

The End.

Talking to Self: Part 1: Fear Fields

Talking to Self: 

A Script 

Part 1: Fear Fields

Person:  I guess I admit it, I do really want to be picked.  I want to be his absolute favorite.  Not in such a way that he can have people entertain him in between him and me, but so much so that he can’t let anyone else near him because I’m so much his favorite.  I want him() to pick me and only me.  I don’t know why there are genuinely people who don’t need this and maybe they got it in another lifetime and in this life that question is answered for them already, but I need that question answered now.  Why can’t I be your favorite.  Why can’t you just pick me.  Why am I trying to force a human symbol()l to give me this answer.  And why can’t I just have him.  To myself.  And I’m embarrassed I turned him off to me.  I’m embarrassed I needed him and he knew it.  And I’m embarrassed that he didn’t want me to need him.  I love him so much.

What is it I want.  I want him to love me and choose me.  I want to be so special and I can’t figure out how.  I can’t figure out any of this in my head.  I seem to be becoming more and more confused instead of finding any clarity.  Is it such an obvious answer that I’m literally running circles around it to avoid it?

No matter how strong and big I get, this is still the only thing that seems bigger than me.  I guess because it’s the biggest unknown I have yet to explore.

Self:  Because your biggest “fear” is just a negative connotation you are putting on the greatest unknown in your life, which really just means the biggest visible part of yourself that you are viewing and therefore seeing as outside of yourself.  You see it as outside of yourself because you have yet to KNOW it, although you have created it prior to experientially perceiving it.

The greatest fear you have won’t leave you alone because it is the greatest unknown to you.  It is the thing, the only thing, bigger than you.  You see it as scary because you see it as other than yourself, not OF yourself and therefore fundamentally unpredictable.  It is only an unexplored creation.  It can only seem as a threat so long as it is being experienced as “other” to you, outside of you.  It’s always the fear of expansion; the preference, really, not to expand in this now, that is keeping you from facing this ‘fear’.

This is because, once it is being experienced, perceived, it is now CLEARLY the self, clearly shown to be part of the self because you have now merged with it via your perceptual tools; senses, feelings, ideas.  A merging, or rather a realization of inherent oneness, is happening when you steer your perceptual intake mechanism into the direction of the “fear field” that thing which you are creating the illusion of being outside of you.  You line yourself up with it, face to face, you with the energy (the “fear”), and start to feel all the feelings that are a part of it, associated with it, let it all in, into your nose, mouth, your ears, fingers, hands, toes, body, eyes, third eye, brain and thoughts, feelings  and ideas.  It becomes you.  Do you see this so-called ‘process’ by which this “thing” you have perceived to be outside of you and feared, how it becomes you, or how you allow yourself to recognize it as yourself?  (You cannot perceive what you are not the vibration of!)  It becomes you, integrates into you using one layer as a channel into the next moving through the membranes of your outer and inner selves.

This is why we have fears: to keep us from accepting BEING that thing that we fear.  As long as we fear it, we can perceive it as ‘other’, but as soon as we face it, look at it, we MUST feel it, taste it, experience it and as we are experiencing it we are, as a SYNONYM of experiencing it, becoming it- in other words merging with it.  Your senses are merely the channels through which you identify more of yourself through the membrane of your individuality nucleus and out into your entire created organism.

If you are not ready to expand you do not look into a fear field because it is the biggest thing you are currently pretending is not you, the biggest part of yourself  you are denying and saying ‘no’ to; hiding from, hating, rejecting, forsaking, denying.

God never does this.  (God) We are the sense of yourself who is denying none of yourself and just for now you are avoiding some parts of all of yourself, but that’s OK.  When you choose to pay this thing attention you are in essence validating it, you are in essence saying you will merge with it.  You are now ready to merge with it.  Wherever your attention is, there you are…literally!  Your “attention” is you.  Whatever you pay attention to is what you are.

You choose to pay attention and that is another way to say that your perceptual intake channels are hooking into that thing (the fear field) for you to transport it into the you that you are exclusively recognizing as you, through these channels.  For instance, your eyes are the channels through which you are acknowledging or pulling in the visual translation of this unknown part of you.  Your ears are allowing the transfer of sound wave particles into those receptor sites inside you in this reflective facet of you.  This is why every moment of looking and being seen, moving and being moved, sending and receiving, every simple unsophisticated seeming moment and movement is beautiful and what you would call sexual or erotic because it is a receptor site of one ‘thing’ that views itself as separate, opening itself up and allowing itself to receive the impression of the other part of itself which is yourself just as much, but you  are labeling it ‘the unknown’ or a fear, until you allow the breakdown of the barrier you have formed to define yourself as separate.

It continuously wants your attention because it is yourself and you have told yourself, (this ‘part’ of yourself) that you are banished as this facet of yourself.  You have banished this expression of yourself, from yourself, calling a facet of your own self, a member of your own body, NOT your own body.  So of course it wants your attention. 

Until you admit it is you again, it will ask for your attention.  Literally though.  Not as a metaphor.  Your senses are the secret trap doors of you as an ego identity (i.e. you as an individual person).  Through them-any of them that you have learned to use- including those outside of the physical 5 senses, the barriers of your ego identity are opened up to further layers of you.

Senses are the tunnels interconnecting you to different layers of you just like a tunnel underground could connect between different states in the same country.

The whole model is you, but you’ve almost entirely nucleized yourself into a central dense formation (i.e. you as an ‘individual’ ego person) and you build this formation like a shell to keep some of you in one compartment and the rest of you in another compartment, just like if you submerged an empty bottle into a pool of water, you will not start to see the water that flows into the bottle as separate water from the pool as a whole and nor can you reason that you are separate from the rest of yourself.  There is not less water because it is flowing into a submerged vessel.  The body of water as a whole remains the same essentially, only filling a different shape with part of its entirety.

Let’s say you’re a pool of water. Your name is pool. You’re a pool of water. You want to try something.  You dip a bottle into yourself to see how you feel filling in an empty vessel…you will not have felt that ‘that part of me that inhabited the bottle was no longer me while in the bottle’, would you?  No.  No more than you can reason that your whole self expresses itself through you as a human and is therefore no longer yourself in total.  You are still all of that.

So bring it back to a fear.  If you fear it and you dive into it, you will understand it’s a part of you inhabiting another bottle, go up to it, plug into it.  Use your intake channels (senses) as tools to merge with this other field of yourself, that thing can then no longer be perceived as ‘bigger’ than you because it is now felt as intermingling with you.  In other words you are admitting to all of yourself that you are all of you, more of all of you, from your perspective, which we all are.

Fear is rooted in the attitude of “I am NOT that thing;” denial.  You can force yourself to convince yourself you are not that thing so…

Person: (Interrupting) If I merge with the idea of this "fear" in my mind, can I avoid having to face the physical manifestation of the fear in my actual physical life?

Self:  If you view there is a difference, sure.

Person:  But I do want the opposite scenario of the one I "fear" to manifest in my real life! (Meaning in my physical life.)

Self:  Do you?

Person:  Yes, I don’t want it to end like this, on such an inharmonious note.  But I’m not going to settle for it the way it is.  And I don’t have to!(Becoming defensive.)

Self:  You could accept it for what it is and stop hating and blaming and being so unkind to yourself.  Then build another one.

Person:  Show me.

Self:  YourSELF is a mechanism you build to create the make-believe experience that you are separate from yourself and your senses are the tools you built into this mechanism, the channels you installed to let yourself back in- so that you wouldn't have to be stuck in a stagnant illusory experience of separateness.

Until you deal with your big ‘fear’, everything else you decide to experience will just be something you are creating to stand in the way of the fear- to stand in between you and the fear.  To keep you distracted from yourself.  

Stop creating and using distractions, and quit being one.

(End Part 1)

Spider ProCreation

One of the most fascinating things about spiders is their sexual and reproductive model.

The female in almost all species is larger and thus more powerful than the male. She never seeks to mate, but rather is always sought.

The male approaches at a distance and gradually seeks entrance, first to her web, then to mate with her.

Throughout the spider world, the act of sexual intercourse will very regularly culminate with the female eating the male who she has just allowed to mate with her.

You have to wonder if the male, in his deliberate and humble approach, must know that he is walking directly into his death and that he is thus sacrificing himself to her and to the continuation of the life cycle.

This makes me furthermore wonder if he makes this choice because the desire to merge with the greater energy and to experience giving his seeds of life to this cycle, must be such a compelling desire that the male spider surrenders himself to be consumed by her.

His gives himself as an individual just for the chance to give what he was made to give to the whole, through her.

It's really quite a beautiful model, if you ask me.

How to Know You're God

If you aren't the thing you are sensing, how do you perceive it's existence?  Through what sensors?  You see things because you have eyes, you hear things because you have instruments which intake and sort vibrational sound waves, you taste things because you have buds to receive this type of information.  Sensation, perception, must always be an inseparable synergistic cooperation between the sense-er and the sensed.  There is not one without the other.  If it is not being perceived, what way is there to know it exists?

I'm tired of certain documents, in exclusion, certain places, people, or entities being called "divine" or "sacred" as if to specify that all other things are non-divine things.  Sub-divine things, if you will.

Right now I'm sitting in a room with a pregnant young woman and I know that a new physical life-form is developing inside her.  I find this astonishing.  Is she not youth, is she not a facet of the sacred divine feminine, is she not acting out the cycle of creation, of death and life?  In and of her very femaleness, bearing-new-life-ness, having a life-transferring-vagina-ness, is she not supremely sacred?  Of course, supremely sacred, supremely divine.  And uniquely so.

BUT NOT EXCLUSIVELY SO!

We take books like the Bible, the Quaran, the Kabbalah, etc, and call them sacred.  Rightfully so!  But not exclusively so.  And not especially so.  No more or less than any other thing.  "Sacred texts", so called, are simply those forms of expressed information which all out HIT US OVER THE HEAD with concepts of divinity.  Yet the "sacred texts" that insist we too are divine, that we too are God , we hide away, banish, refute, destroy, outlaw.  And because we do not recognize our own complete divinity and sacredness, we then put these messengers on pedestals and say, "This!  This is sacred! This is holy!" And we worship it, missing the entire point.  Missing the point that it was meant to serve as a reminder of who and what we are, not to serve as a master over us.

We fail to understand that this is merely a reflection, a very passionate reminder of our own divinity.  If the gospel song makes us shout, the sacred ceremony makes us cry, the prayer makes us silent in reverence, it is only because our divine self is identifying divinity within it's own reflection!

There is nothing that is not divine.  There is nothing that is not sacred.  There are only those beings unaware of their sacredness; Shrouded in the dark weight of forgetfulness.

Divinity itself, however, the micro- and macro-cosmic reflective beingness of it, can never be misconstrued.  The divinity of each sub-molecular particle, the field of nothingness from which it ultimately springs, can never cease to be it's own essence.

By definition all of existence must be sacred and must be divine.

You are perfectly beautiful.
You are entirely perfect.
By definition, you must be this.

Perceptual Creation

Our perceptions, the ways we judge other people and outward circumstances in our world are priceless gifts we give ourselves because they are giving us a microcosmic model of our beliefs and perceptions about OURSELVES from which we can learn and understand the process of creation.

You don't HAVE your perceptions, you ARE your perceptions.  Your perceptions are an exact replica of who you're choosing to be and therefore what you're choosing to create, whether consciously or un-consciously.

You can trace the perception directly back to yourself to see yourself making this choice of perception and better yet WHY you are making this choice, and see the complete process of how you are creating what it is you're creating.

You are, every "moment" of creation, very literally carving, yes creating "yourself" and thus your perceived experience, out of the vast fabric of nothingness from which every varying experience and expression of creation emanates. 

Whatever we choose to carve, however expansive or restrictive it may be or in whatever direction will and can never be "bad" or "good", but what it can be is PREFERRED or NOT PREFERRED.  

By familiarizing with what our perceptions of everything around us are, we can become aware of ourselves as the operator of this creative engine and then have more fun surfing through this eternal adventure of experiences, leaving behind the frustration, fear and insecurity and rather feeling the love, support and abundance, knowing that this is always our choice.